How's Your Life Going? You Know....Orgy-Wise?

I was thinking about orgies. Without any prior orgy experience, I think it would be incredibly difficult to organize a successful group sex endeavor. This is the genius of the ancient romans; their orgy engineering skills. My guess is sometimes they probably cheated and used children or their relatives cause they were insane people but nonetheless, mad props to ancient rome.

I mean, if you go around asking people you know if they want to take part in an orgy they would think you are completely ridiculous. Either that, or there'll be all kinds of conditions and rules. I don't know why all the people you know are such sticks in the mud, but that's how it goes. I could probably get a couple creeps I know involved, and maybe convince one more, and I could always give Lady Gaga a call and she'd be down, but that's such a ramshackle structure, for an orgy. You would almost need to go and seek out orgy veterans, who know all the "ins and outs" of it. Cause if you set aside the idea of your friends and acquaintances and just say.....post an ad in the city paper, I feel like you would get a room full of dudes holding their dicks, waiting for the playboy bunnies to show up. It takes a lot of mental gymnastics to set this shit up, before the physical gymnastics get going, in the slightest.

Let's say you even convince some friends, people on the street, some girl you met at a bookstore that's clearly on ecstasy, that doesn't even mean it's going down. An orgy is something that sounds good on paper, like "Oh, Anthony, what a fresh, exciting idea. You're really spicing up my life right now."but then, get a bunch of strangers or acquaintances together in a room and ask them to start having sex and watch the awkwardness commence. These people might hate each other, not be attracted to anyone there, not have done their homework you clearly assigned(your friend Ron thinks Daisy Chain is just an indie rock band, from Detroit). These are serious concerns. Well, they are hilarious to me but serious, if you are very solemn in your questing for triple penetration, which I'm sure most of you are.

My way of thinking is that an orgy is something you should just leave as fantasy. If you make it happen, you can have that pride of accomplishment, but then what? What's next, in your life? What's harder than being a regular, everyday person putting together an orgy that leaves everyone saying "I'm pleased as punch."? Are you gonna bring peace to the middle east? Breed pandas for a living? Successfully recreate the bank heist from Die Hard With A Vengeance? Are you gonna take over for Willy Wonka, as head of the chocolate factory? Learn all the dialects of the Chinese language? Those are your choices. It's your choice to make. But honestly, I don't even know why you brought up orgies, in the first place. Did you want to get it on with me? Till the break of dawn with me? Till the early morn', turn your life into a porn? I can draw up a blueprint for a two-way, by next week....let's make it 7-10 business days. Maybe I'll talk to you first. Maybe. You know, I don't want to make it seem like this blog was all about sex.

Hahaha, this blog is ridiculous. I just read it back to myself and noticed that. But feel free to give me your opinions. Maybe you're like "Hey, man, it's not that hard.". And, I'll write you back and say "I bet that's what they said.".