A Sloppy Mess

I've been wanting to write something but I haven't been able to pin down a good subject. There have been all these celebrity deaths recently. I loved Michael Jackson and I could probably write a super long essay about my feelings on him....but would anyone really care? Karl Malden died too. He was 97. I wasn't completely taken aback, by that one. That got me thinking though that there was a time where you could be an ordinary looking dude, in fact, perhaps even kind of fucked up looking and you could still be a movie star. Those kind of guys always had a brilliant thing about them too. This new crop of young, pretty boy actors is a joke. Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson, these guys can barely act like they're breathing and that probably even takes really good direction. Chace Crawford? That sounds like a gay law firm. He's apparently gonna be the star of the new Footloose. Kevin Bacon looks like a rodent. You can't replace him like that. Shia Labeouf almost has that rodent everyman quality, except for the fact that he seems like an asshole and he isn't any good.

I, at one point, was watching Princess Protection Program, on the Disney Channel. That was exciting. It was just the kind of mindless entertainment that kids need to be raised on, starring some nice hispanic girls. I like your ethnic diversity, disney channel. You cover everything from white, to slightly asian, to "can pass for white". Speaking of which, on Twitter, Miley Cyrus was complaining about continuity errors in Cape Fear. First off, where does she get the balls? Second, if Miley Cyrus is all about pointing out continuity errors, how is she a christian?

Sarah Palin is stepping down as governor of Alaska. I guess she needs a bunch of time off after the grueling process of not doing or knowing anything. In related news, Alaskan wildlife will be extinct in two weeks and Sarah Palin is pregnant again. Her new daughter will be named Dirt and should be pregnant by next fall.

In sports, the USA tried to pretend it was good at soccer and I still love Serena Williams.

It's the 4th of July. Everyone better blow some shit up and put copious amounts of hotdogs in themselves. It's why America exists. Don't sass America. Not on it's special day. But seriously, have a great America Day. It's really nice of China to keep sponsoring this event each year.