Last Time I Checked

This week I've listened to nothing but Avant Garde Jazz and the music from The Wiz. I was contemplating combining the two into some sort of Avant Garde Jizz. It would be far out. Handling my jizz would be an ambitious undertaking for anyone. I would win the Down Beat reader's poll for Jizz of the Year. I haven't made this jizz, as of yet. I just need to lock myself in a room with a few other people and bang it out.

Now, Avant Garde Jazz and The Wiz, aside from being two things that have made me go insane, they are a part of another list, as well. That would be Things I Love About America. They are purely American inventions. No one else would be strange enough to make them and call them artistic endeavors. As much as I enjoy them, they are, in a way, kind of just excuses to be ridiculous. But people made money off of them and that's the American way.

However, for all of these great things that have happened in America, there has to be a counterbalance. So, last week, I'm just minding my own business and, in the mail, comes a letter for me and it is telling me that I have to renew my driver's license. So, apparently, I am to ruin my day and go out of my way to the DMV and pay them.....pay them?....I'm supposed to pay them 30 dollars for this "service". Who invented this system? The devil. That's who.

What exactly is wrong with my license every 4 years that I need a new one anyway? Is it going to explode? No, because I've known criminals driving with expired licenses. It stays the same. These are questions that no one really thinks about. They blindly accept them as "the way it is" and pay their 30 dollars and get their "service" right up their ass and they forget it and move on and then they're pissed whenever they have to do it again in another 4 years. And, another thing, they don't accept cash. Whatever happened to cash? Last time I checked, paper money was the accepted currency here. You can't even pay the people at the DMV either. You have to send them a check ahead of time. I don't have checks! Who do they think I am? Bill Gates? Last time I checked, this was America; land of the free, home of the kentucky fried chicken; life and liberty and all that jazz. Do you know what liberty means? "The freedom to think or act without being constrained by necessity or force". Apparently, there's not a dictionary at the DMV. I'm sick of this government stifling me. They want nothing more than to hold me back. I'm gonna become successful making jizz. And, then I can throw it right in their faces.